Saturday, February 27, 2010


Hello! I'm in a totally random mood today! I slaved in the bathroom for hours to hang with my friends. I'm with Dizkord today!!!!!

Anyway, I changed prom dates. lol my life is sooo dramatic.

Also, watching Spice and Wolf currently. omnomnomnom I wanna be a wolf god :C


Monday, February 22, 2010

The Guy Who Shall Take Me To Prom

In creative writing again. I forgot my fucking flash drive so I'm just gonna work on my blog. Today seems to be going by smoothly. My friends decided to ask people to prom for me, so now guess what? I have a date. He's okay, I guess. I was just hoping to go with another guy who only says hi to me but does it in an intense way, like he's trying to understand who exactly I am, what I want to be. His eyes are framed with incredibly dark, long lashes and are extremely dark too. He has blondish hair and he likes anime and stuff like I do.

But the thing is, I asked him out earlier this year and his friends fucked it up, so I don't want anything to happen like that again!!!! Do I just leave things lie and go with this guy that my friends set up for me, or suck it up and ask this guy that I might have a second chance with? Why does my life have to be so dramatic?

Okay, so let's backtrack. I haven't posted in forever! My apologies! I have been busy with friends and such. I haven't been in front of a computer since Thursday =/. Last weekend was FUN. I pretty much spent it all with my friend playing Rollercoaster Tycoon and styling James's hair. He got it cut by his mom that day too! We also did makeovers and made kissy lipstick marks all over the mirror. Fun times.

Sunday I slept. And slept. Then ate a makeshift supper. Then did dishes. Then watched the olympics. Then read until 12 AM.

I am a crazy person.

Anyways, life is being shitty for me. Too much drama. Too much stuff to do. Too much pressure from the parents. I JUST WANT A FUCKING BREAK!!!!!! Can I just get the guy I want for once? Can I have friends who don't fight with each other all the time? Can I have parents who will let me go someplace fun and new and interesting?

Obviously not.

So! Question and answer time! Ask me some questions, and I will answer them in the next post!!

Ask a LOT of them! :D

Love Always,


P.S. I'm badass in my leather jacket.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Overprotective Parents

I wish my dad would stop being so controlling and just live life for once. Life is too short to waste on worrying.



Monday, February 15, 2010


Why is it that talking to the people we love is harder than talking to complete strangers? I've been running from so many things, so many problems, yet I address them by making online friends and reveling in anime episodes. My mom and dad are disappointed in me, I know, but I can't stop. My online friends understand me more than some of my real life friends. I wish I could find some great people in my area to spend time and confide in. I have a best friend and a guy who loves me, but I need others to turn to.

Sometimes I wish that love would be simpler. That you would realize it faster than it hitting you in the freaking face when you least expect it. There's also many different kinds of love. Respect love, hate-love, romance love, lust love, friendship love, family love. What if the world was so full of love that we could just stop killing ourselves with pain and hatred, that we stopped all the emotional problems. What if the drunk man wasn't drunk? What if the sad child actually had a father who hadn't run away?

So many questions to answer. So many reasons why the world is so fucked up.



Saturday, February 13, 2010

Valentine's Day

Hey everyone! Recently I got XBOX Live, so I haven't been doing much lately. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day! We all blow V-day off because it's all about sweethearts and gifts. But I think Valentine's Day isn't about true love or girlfriends/boyfriends. It's just about telling someone you care about that you love them, whether its Grandma, or Dad, or even your stupid brother. My DAD gave me a box of smores chocolates just because he wanted to, and I think spreading the love to anyone on such a special day is wonderful. Kudos to my dad!

I've been hooked into the wonders of online gaming. I find the competition and cooperative atmospheres alluring. Hm. Anyway, I hope you all find someone to care about in the future to make Valentine's day extremely special!!



Thursday, February 11, 2010

This Song

This song is so beautiful. Best Jpop song ever.

I'm Pee-in-your-pants Scared.

Hey guys. I have an utter dilemna on my hands. I need a date to prom and I'm scared to ask a few guys. Any tips and ideas for a scared girl?



Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Creative Writing

Hey all! Shortened classes because of 2 hour delay=epic fail.

I have college and a speech to give...blegh. I'd rather not. also world civ exam on monday. oh shit.

ugh..there's also this guy who claims that I like him, but i think its the other way around.

he also stole my nerd glasses idea.

being creative,


Tuesday, February 9, 2010


Today was supposed to be my day
I was supposed to be in my skin
Then they ripped me out of my chest
And threw me into sin.
How could such a day turn out like this?
I was riding on a cloud now
I’m bleeding out my bliss.
Ignorance stabbed my eyes
Selfishness is eating me alive!
I can’t take anymore
Let my anger start to roar!
I’m cracked into pieces
Let me fall on the floor
Sweep them up,
I’m no more.
Try to save me
Try to reach
I’ll just violate
The air you breathe.
My screams will tear your ears
I’ll reach out, pull out
All the deepest fears.
And when I’m through
You’ll see
How you can end up
Just like ME.


My last few posts were a little random. Some guys are at my house being random and shit. And watching me blog. Stop talking that blah blah blah! Anyway, this blog is for James. He makes me so happy! I wish that he was here right now instead of in Oskaloosa, but I can't help that. He needs to be there right now.

I wish people could make me as happy as James and his sister makes me. I hope anyone who reads it finds their own personal happiness. Now, to listen to more slut music!

Love and Hugs,



Get A life

go away. play XBOX. I don't care.

Reading Over My Shoulder

This blog's for you, silly person over my shoulder.


Monday, February 8, 2010


Friends shape your whole entire life. My friends saved my life and helped me get through some nasty emotional problems. What came out of those problems is an increased urge to create, live, and love. I am an artist. My life is my art.

Friends should never tell each other to drink, do drugs, or turn their backs on other friends. We should all live in harmony together. The world is dying because of our parents' mistakes. We can't make the same mistakes and dissolve the world with our own stupidity. Reach out to anyone that needs a hand. Save the world one step at a time. Kindness is worth more than hatred in the end. And who knows?

You could save a life.



Dirty Dancing

Today was crazy! Holy fuck I did some crazy things. First off, the weekend was kickass[thank you wartburg!]. I have to thank my kind roommate for being my second mother over the weekend and taking me to do shit and putting up with my confusedness. Second, there is this insane blizzard outside. Man, God must be really hating this fucked up world. I got out of school FIVE hours early. I could have stayed home because I skipped half my shit anyway, but I came anyway for Algebra II. I was there for maybe forty five minutes? I really, really REALLY wish that we didn't have school..but then again I don't want to be in my desk til June.

Next on my agenda. Ke$ha. she is such a fucking dirty whore. But her music brainwashes me until I am a dirty-whore-dancing Ke$ha zombie! Techno scares me but I must listen. scary scary!

I should probably post some poetry soon too. And watch anime. That's always good. Must not click youtube for more Ke$ha!!!!! Her songs are making me dance like a god damn whore!!

Dirty Dancin' til the Day I Die,


Saturday, February 6, 2010


At meistersinger with my college roommates. It's not awkward but were not best friends either. Peace out,


Friday, February 5, 2010


Today is the worst. I just wrote this 6 pagelong speech about my life which is going to bore my classmates to death. To make matters worse, I gotta pack up and go to Waverly for the weekend. I'd rather be working on this or my Creative Writing projects, but oh well.
I heard about this cute anime called Wolf and Spice. I might check it out, when my family/school/band/life stops kicking me in the ass. Also, my jeans decided to leak blue dye all over my Converse shoes.

Ray William Johnson!